Nick - 27

When I was young, I always felt splintered. With all the different parts of me, I never felt like I belonged. I knew a lot of people, but I did not have a lot of friends. I was an athlete, but never fit in with the jocks. I was punk rock, anti-authoritarian but did not belong with the academic groups. Studying? Goals? Forget about it. 

As I became a young man, I grew accustomed to the feeling of being alone. To this day, one of my biggest fears is that the people who are closest to me will leave me for being me in the fullest. Because of this fear, I have a hard time opening up and being forth coming in relationships (be it romantic and or platonic).

As I walk my path, I can account for several instances where those close to me filter out of my life, ghosting me for unexplained reasons. Perhaps those were not the people who were going to be around for me anyways. Because of these painful situations, I am hesitant to share me, who I am, for fear of abandonment. It has been hard, but I have never stopped choosing to be my most authentic self. I take pride in the fact that I have never compromised who I am to please others.

As I turn 28, I lean into my truth more and more every day. I fully trust that as I continue to be my most authentic self, my relationships will be the deepest and most meaningful of my life yet. 

Music - Nick’s music choices during our photo session included, SNFU and The Mezingers.