Seb - 45
Born from an unpopular union of a Haitian immigrant father who disappeared before my birth, never to resurface, and a French-Canadian mother, merely a girl herself at fifteen. This unique blend resulted in my light skin, symbolizing the difference that alienated me from black and white communities. White folks saw me as black and black folks pegged me as white. My fight for survival, however, began in the womb, the target of an abortive attempt by a mentally unstable grandmother. My young life took root in this chaos and violence, tossed around like a mere object between an abusive uncle and that same schizophrenic grandmother.
Amid this turbulence, my saving grace came in the unlikely form of a twelve-year-old aunt. She sacrificed her own childhood to shield me from the harsh realities of my mother's rebellious adolescence, ensuring I didn't have to step on drug debris in the squalid apartment we called home. The terror and chaos that enveloped my early years bred in me a deep sensitivity and empathy, even as they constantly exposed me to beatings, emotional torment, and racism. My petite physique and inherent gentleness further compounded my existential struggles.
Over a decade, I was shuffled through eleven different schools, quickly learning that no location change could erase my problems. Every new environment was just a fresh battlefield, reinforcing my understanding that forming attachments was futile. My days weren't filled with learning but rather the dread of the next physical confrontation during recess or the terror of the bus ride home. My solitude was equal to the trepidation of life's next unwelcome surprise.
Amid the turmoil, I discovered a sense of calm in my natural athleticism. A school event once offered a rare platform for my talents. I emerged victorious against formidable obstacles, capturing nine gold medals in nine competitions. I can still recall the electricity of the moment as I stood in the gymnasium, envisioning my victories before they unfolded. But in a crushing blow, my moment was snatched away. My hard-earned successes were hastily dismissed, my deserved medals were never given, and my achievements were summarily ignored. It felt like my one break was stolen from me, serving as a harsh reminder that even my greatest accomplishments couldn't shine through the pervasive shadow of my circumstances.
Throughout it all, one thing remained steadfast: my protective instinct. Even when fear paralyzed me, I would risk it all to safeguard others. When my two younger sisters became victims of abuse by their biological father, I was informally trained, and armed with a shotgun to protect them, spending my nights guarding my mother's door, prepared to take a man's life if necessary. This same man who, years before, had taken perverse pleasure in subjecting me to electric shocks, a morbid symbol of my tormented childhood.
My mother, a mere girl when she bore me, eventually evolved into an inspiring woman before her premature death at 48, dying in my arms. My life, a maelstrom of adversity, imparted crucial lessons: the chronic abuse rendered me resilient to physical pain; constant displacement made me adaptable; perennial disappointments tempered my expectations; the omnipresent fear of death made me courageous, and the lack of external validation compelled me to seek inner strength. Most importantly, my life taught me that there is always a silver lining.
Through this crucible, I learned to seek meaning over fleeting happiness, manifest the compassion I craved during my trials, never take anything for granted, and refuse defeat. I learned to wield my suffering as a weapon against evil forces and never let my torment become another's burden. I grasped the value of self-sacrifice, proactive control over self-pity, and the importance of facing one's demons lest you inadvertently inflict them on others.
Remember, we have stories and narratives of pain, trials, and triumphs. Embrace your history, find the meaning within your pain, and let it fuel your progress. Realize that within you lies more strength than you can imagine. Gain perspective from those worse off, and remember, your trials are not unique, and salvation lies within you. At the end of the day, the power to change your life, and to be a person that positively contributes to the world, is yours alone.
Music - Seb’s music choices during our photo session included Imagine Dragons, Tears for Fears, Damian Marley, Pink Floyd, and Johann Pachelbel.
