Paul - 39

I am a very private man. Sharing does not come easily. Trust has a password you need an Enigma machine to crack. When I choose to show myself entirely, it is both rare and with great discernment.

A man that I hero worshipped and idolized betrayed irrevocably that trust which I put in him, breaking it nearly beyond repair. In the ensuing years, I felt like an empty vessel where the only thing that made me feel full, or feel anything, was food. It became my solace. Eventually this solace ballooned me to 415lbs, which was accompanied by a deep well of self-hatred for who I was, what I had become, and a body that felt entirely alien.

Years of emotional bondage passed before the shards of broken trust were painstakingly pieced together again. I began the process of revealing those dark, ungainly, unhealed components I once so desperately locked away to those who I deemed worthy of trust, capable of listening without judgment, and support without pity.

Then, and only then, was I able to mend the broken and unreconciled elements that had for so long gone unheeded. Once that journey began, so too followed another long road - one that lead to a massive 200lbs weight loss. Nine years in the making. It was almost like it was waiting for me to heal from within so I could heal from without.

I am still that private person, but because I choose to be, not because I have to be. I no longer feel I need to protect what was once so fragile, for the man inside is no longer made of glass, but of solid marble.

Music - Paul’s music choices during our photo session included, The Rolling Stones, Act I Finale - Turandot, Alexi Murdoch, Being Alive - Company, and Billy Joel.