Mark - 28

Like many men I have always found solace in solitude. This is both my super power and nemesis in life.

There is nothing quite like having the day wide open for myself; nothing like the freedom to dive head first into projects for hours on end to only briefly come up for air. This is how I've lived a large part of the past decade. Head down, fist to the grindstone, day in and day out. This work ethic, that I learned from my father, is certainly a blessing in many ways. It's allowed me to create successful businesses, have freedom in my schedule, and live life on my terms. These are all things I have aspired for greatly throughout my life, but with every yang there is a yin waiting behind it.

This yin found it's way to me in the form of burnout, depression, and lack of belonging. At the time I didn't let this deter me. I've always been mission driven and this was simply another bump in the road; but with every act of ignorance the bumps grew in size and strength. What were once negligible glitches were quickly becoming mountains to climb. Confused, frustrated, and exhausted I decided it was time to listen — and what I heard was frightening.

The self deprecation was amongst the most vibrant. Showing itself in self dialogue that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, yet I felt I was deserving. This was bewildering, but the duality of it is what peaked my interest the most. I decided to step back and scan my life to examine where this shows up in my life. I asked myself, "where do I see myself in others?" The sad reality of this question at the time was the answer was nowhere. I couldn't see myself in one person — and what I later realized is that I didn't see me in myself. I was lost.

This prompted a search. I wanted to examine these deeper parts of myself and discover where the disconnect lied. I dove into self help, spiritualism, meditation, men's work, you name it, I was doing it. It's been five years since that journey began and in many ways I feel like I'm only three feet from the starting line. Where I would have looked for ways to expedite the process, I am learning to slow down and smell the roses — because what I have come to appreciate is it's not just the distance travelled, but what you get to create, share, and love along the way.

Music - Mark’s music choices during our photo session included, Radiohead, John Mayer, and The Allan Parsons Project.